


Were You Prepared?

by Yoimbo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Add tags as I go, Aka Dave loses his chill, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Abuse, Confrontation, M/M, Other, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Canon, abuse mention, i needed this okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-10 22:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10449198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoimbo/pseuds/Yoimbo
Summary: So much had happened over the past six years. They were just children back then, when they started the game. They created a universe, but they destroyed their planet. Their home. Now, they were all grown up, on a crazy little planet they tried their best to call home. To Dave, it still felt empty to him.He didn’t see how anyone else felt the same. They lost so many people. John lost his dad, Rose lost her mom, and He lost Bro.Bro.Dave’s older brother invaded his mind. Why today? Why is his brain forcing him to think about him? About everything he did?





	1. Stop Thinking About It

Dave found that nighttime was the best time to think. No one to bother you, nothing to distract you. He could barely sleep anyways, so it was an amazing way to pass the time.

The cool night breeze blew through his hair as he walked, the only thing lighting his path was the supposed he could just fly, but there was something grounding about the feeling of his feet hitting the ground. The constant movement of his legs reminded him that he was still real, that he was still alive. After everything that happened, he needed to feel human.

His brain shifted to the past, the day they started the game. God, they were just kids back then. If Dave went back in time and tried to tell his younger self the shit he'd have to put up with, the little shit would've laughed. Never, in Dave's wildest dreams, would he ever predict that this was how his life would turn out. So much had happened. They destroyed their planet, their _home,_ and created a new universe. Now, they're all grown up. Dave tried his best to call this new planet home, but it still felt empty to him. In fact, he didn't see why he was the only one who felt that way. After all, the kids lost so much. Rose lost her mom, John lost his dad, Dave lost his bro.

Bro.

Thoughts of his guardian began invading his mind. Every day, Dave had to make a conscious effort not to think about him. Today the thoughts were especially persistent. Every hour or so something would remind him of the guardian, forcing him to banish the memories and shove them into that dark place in his mind even he was afraid to touch. They'd keep coming back, however. The tenacious thoughts always came back, overwhelming him and making his heart ache. Why today? Why did his brain want him to think about him today? Every flash of a smile, every pat on the head he'd ever received from his older brother, it all came back to him and remind him of the pang in his chest.

Which made him think, Why did his heart hurt? Dave tried to convince himself that the ache wasn't there, that every twinge and gnawing sensation was a fabrication in his own mind. His heart couldn't possibly hurt. He hated him. He hated him.. He hated...

"...Do I miss him...?" He finally mumbled.

"...No, that can't be it," He answered himself, "It cant be.."

After all, he tried to reason with himself, who could miss someone like that? The man made him terrified to walk around her own house. Because of him, he's terrified to fight. He's the one that made him afraid... and yet..

He sighed to himself, "It's normal, right? To miss him..?"

Who he was asking, he didn't know. However, he made himself a note to talk to rose about all of this: The missing, the pain, the flooding memories, the talking to himself. Everything. She'd know what this was about. She had a way with these types of things. However, the memories were unrelenting. They barraged him, the ache worsening with every thought. His pace quickened, as if he was trying to flee from his thoughts. Of course, he knew he couldn't, but he couldn't hurt to try. His hands went to his face, trying to refresh himself, trying to banish his brother from his brain.

"Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it, stop thinking... stop it.. stop it!"

" _Dave."_

The knight froze, his eyes widening at he sound of the voice. The baritone rumbling in his throat, the authoritative manner, he knew it in an instant. However, the impossibility of the voice falling on his ears sent his mind racing. How could it be? He finally let himself breathe as he turned around.

"...Bro..?"


	2. He's Here

“…Bro…?”

Before Dave, stood his Bro. He looked exactly as he remembered, from the fingerless gloves to the dark baseball cap atop his head. He was exactly the way he looked the day he died.

This wasn’t possible. How could this be possible?

Dave tried to quell the shaking in his hands by clenching them into tight fists.  God, he’s never been so thankful he wore nearly-opaque shades, or else his bro would see the fearful look in his eyes. For a short time, he just stared, feeling adrenaline pump through him as he decided whether to fight or flight.

Dave felt himself step back, then took another step as he bolted in the opposite direction. Flight, he guessed. He could hear Bro calling his name, but he refused to stop or go back. Soon, he shot up in the air, flying back to him and Karkat’s house—er, hive.

He burst through the door, slamming it shut and locking it. Karkat came to him, noticing his ragged breathing.

 “Dave, fuck, are you okay? Where have you been?”  He asked, moving to cup his lover’s face.

Dave shook his head, grabbing Karkat’s hands, shaky and desperate for something to calm him, “N-no, n-no n-no, fuck, Karkat, he’s here.”

“Dave, what is it, who’s here?” He asked, growing scared for him.

“M-my Bro, he just showed up.” His voice was wavering, almost as if he was tearful. He attacked himself in his mind, ‘Striders don’t cry’ he thought.

“What do you mean ‘just showed up?’”

“I mean he just approached me while I was walking.” Dave eyes kept flying from Karkat’s to the window by the door, “I don’t know how it’s possible, I don’t know why, but he’s _here_!”

Karkat held him close in an attempt to calm him down, thinking of what to say, “Fuck, okay, alright… Whatever, happens, I’ll protect you, okay? We can go the other’s keep him away from you… Did he try and follow you?”

“Uhm…” Dave thought for a moment before groaning in frustration, “Fuck, I don’t remember!”

He held Dave closer, “Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re going to be okay.” He said, trying the best he can to calm him.

Karkat led him away from the door, trying to get him to their bedroom. Along the way, he cooed calming things in his ear. When they got to the room, Karkat sat him down on the bed. He kneeled in front of his lover, reaching forward to take off his shades. Instinctually, Dave pulled away, but he noticed what he was doing and let Karkat remove his shades. Behind the lenses were a pair of terrified eyes. Karkat let out an inaudible gasp. Though he always gets his breath caught when he sees his pair of ruby eyes, he had never seen so much terror in them before.

His eyes softened, “you’re going to be okay…” He said, planting a kiss on his forehead as he stood, “Please, lay down and try and relax.”

Dave’s grip got tighter as he stood, “Please don’t leave!” he said in almost a whimper.

Karkat smiled, “I’m getting in bed, calm down.”

He let go, laying down as Karkat got in bed. He set his lover’s shades on the bedside table before turning to Dave and holing him close.

“…Hey Karkat?”

“Mhm?”

“Red for you.”

“I love you too.”


	3. Nightmare

There were nights where the only thing Dave saw when he closed his eyes was pitch black, those blessed nights when he was totally encompassed by darkness and could hear nothing. Those were the nights he loved the most, the peaceful, dreamless nights were he didn't stir until daylight aroused him from his sleep.

This was not one of those nights. His body in a constant cycle of awake and asleep.  All the knight could see when his eyes were shut was the glare of nearly opaque shades as a scruffy man stared blankly into his very being. The man’s fingers were snuggly wrapped around his Japanese blade of choice. His lip curled up into a sneer as the man lunged forward.

The teen remembered this exact moment, though similar to many others, this was one he couldn't forget.

He was eight at the time, the katana in his hands nearly too big for him. He took the defensive stance he had learned, leaving the two swords to clash against each other. The battle went on for a short while before the young boy left an opening, making it easy for the older to strike at his abdomen.  Being the innocent child he was, he always thought his Bro would stop if it meant hurting him.

He had misjudged, the man slashed at the boy, cutting through his shirt and at his side. He had dropped his oversized katana immediately, seeing as he was bleeding profusely. The strife ended after that, as the boy started to scream and cry. His mouth was covered by his guardian's hand before he was brought to the bathroom.

The cut was deep. His guardian refused to take him to the hospital, and fixed him up himself. The pain was indescribable, the sharpness of the cut, the burn of the whiskey on his side, the feeling of the needle working in and out and back and forth. His guardian took turns taking swigs from the whiskey and pouring it on the wound to sterilize, even sometimes forcing the swill down the child's throat to numb the pain. The eight year old kept crying.

 _"It hurts!"_ he had sobbed, _"it hurts!"_

The man grabbed his face with one hand, yelling at him to stop crying.

 _"Stop it."_ he spat, alcohol prominent on his breath, _"Striders don't cry."_

Dave woke with a start, jolting up. His eyes scanned the room that he and Karkat shared as he tried to catch his breath. Karkat stirred before waking up himself.

"...Dave, are you okay?" he asked, rubbing his eyes

Dave looked down to his lover, "…Nightmare," he explained, slowly laying back down, "I'm okay, I promise."

Karkat held him close, playing with his hair, "Okay, as long as you say so..."


	4. I was Relieved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bro catches up to Dave, but he's not running this time.

Later that morning, after an hour or so of laying around, they decided it was time to get out of bed. They walked downstairs, passing through the living room to get to the kitchen. It was silent and peaceful until-

"I do hope you won't run away this time. It was a bitch to catch up to you."

Karkat gave out a yelp, and Dave leapt in front of him, facing the source of the voice.

Bro sat on their couch, lounging back with his legs crossed. He brought a metal flask to his lips and took a sip. His face was completely blank, not even looking at Dave.

Dave equipped his sword, stepping forward, "You died." he said, quietly, "I _saw_ you die."

He made long strides to his older brother, grabbing him by the collar and yanking him up, "How are you back?! Why are you _here_?!" he growled.

His bro knocked his hands off his collar, grabbing his wrist in a vice. He chuckled, "not the reaction I was expecting. C'mon Dave, aren't you happy to see me?"

Dave's grip on his sword tightened, "happy?" he asked quietly, "why the fuck would I be happy to see you?!"

He shrugged, still seeming to not take this very seriously, "Like you said, you _saw_ me die."

Dave yanked his hand away, both hands going to his sword, “When you died, I was _relieved!_ ”

Bro’s smile fell, “’Relieved?’” He echoed, sneering, “Do you even know why I died? I died protecting _you,_ you ungrateful fuck!”

He shoved Dave, but Dave shoved him back with his shoulder. Bro growled in frustration before throwing a punch, “All I ever did was to protect you! All I did was sacrifice!”

Dave dodged, swinging his sword at him, ”Protect? If I needed protection from anybody, it was _you_!”

“What the fuck are you going on about?”  He asked, flash stepping out of the way.

“You constantly attacked me!”

“I was training you! That was training!”

“What about that time I was eight?!” He asked, pulling up his shirt to reveal a long, faded scar down his side, “When you gave me this?!”

His guardian glared through his shades, “What? The people out there weren’t going to stop if you had an opening, why should I?!”

“Because you’re my brother!” He shouted, the room going silent, “Because we’re _family_.” His eyes welled up with tears as his voice cracked, “…Because you promised you’d protect me.”

“Were you prepared?” He asked, sneering “Did not I prepare you for what was out there? Didn’t I teach you how to fight, so you could survive?”

“You made me terrified!” Dave cried, “You made me scared to walk around the house, to hear metal hitting against metal! You made me afraid of you!”

Suddenly, Dave heard the front door open, “Yo, Karkat.” He heard dirk say.

“Karkat? We got your message.” Rose said.

“Is everything okay?” Jade asked.

Dave turned to the kitchen, seeing Karkat behind the counter with his crab watch out. Their guests made their way to the living room. The Lalonde-Maryam’s were there, along with Jade, John, Dirk, and Jake. They all, especially John, looked shocked. Though, Dirk was the only one to say anything about it.

“Well, Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!! Thanks for reading this!!   
> To be honest, I don't know how much more there will be of this. Obviously, I'm going to give it a conclusion, but I have no real plans for closure between Bro and Dave.  
> So idk how the end of this will go down.  
> anyways, kudos or comment if you like this???


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